Finding Your Silence
I had lunch with a friend last week that I rarely get to see. After spending 4 hours with her, I gained respect for the softness that surrounds our hearts by noticing that I had neglected the space around my own. When we become too harsh on ourselves or to those in our life, a hard wall forms, leading us away from our compassionate selves. It happens so slowly that you hardly notice it until we get bombarded with judgements, carelessness, pettiness, and just plain old bitchiness (I do believe being a bitch isn't a bad thing, but too much Bitch, and you've got a problem!)
Hardness will manifest itself in many forms because hardness is a clever and sarcastic entity. Maybe it forms from not taking care of our needs so, we tend to rebel and act out on those who are closest.
So how do we take care of our most tender needs?
Being with my friend, who is gentle, soft, connected, and also very fierce, made me think about my own softness. How I had abandoned her and allowed her to sit silently. I thought about this more and more.
Then something great happened! I got the house all to myself for one afternoon upon which I did nothing. Yes, NOTHING! I was tempted to go out and run errands, do some laundry, talk to a friend on the phone, go hang out with other friends, but instead I sat. I came across a video and I cried, feeling vulnerable and soft once again.
The video is about being alone and connecting back to yourself in ways that allow you to thrive in your own greatness. Wow.
Growing up an only child, I was alone often and now I actually really enjoy my alone time, my "ME" time to take my dog for a walk through the trails, read a book, meditate, cook a treat without expectations from myself, harsh judgements, or toxic inner dialogue. All day I sat, watched a film, drank tea, read a book, and allowed the space around my heart to grow.
It felt damn good!! I know that alone time, ME time, is precious, and there will be times in my life where it's near impossible, so I chose to savor all the silent moments that I do have.
Be well, find your space, and love in abundance.